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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Excerpt from 'TAG'

This is an excerpt from the Thriller I'm working on called TAG. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think! As always, I will respond to your comments. Thank you!!



He slowly walked along the cold concrete corridor.  There was no telling how long it would take so he was sure to use a timer. Rope slung over his shoulder and a large box in his hands filled him like a mule. Sounds of the wires dragging behind him echoed through the long corridor. He stepped cautiously with impaired vision, a box of glass and tangles of wire around he’d hate to trip.

Screams permeated through the halls along with loud thuds and bangs. He ignored it and continued on carefully until he got to very end. Sweat beaded at his brow and stained the underarms of his thermal shirt. The discomfort annoyed him.

It seemed like it took nearly an hour to get all the way down there. He looked around the corner of the box in his arms to see his watch. I actually had taken about that long. His breathing only slightly above normal was now polluted with stagnant air. He huffed at the thought of the damage it could be doing to his lungs. He didn’t care.

The screams were much louder now and bounced off the solid concrete walls giving an echo its own echo. He stopped in the center of the room and eyed each corner and wall in deep thought. He paid no mind to the screamer or to the horrible grumbling sounds coming from the door on the west wall.  He looked up to find a large vent in the ceiling, but he knew it wasn’t operational.

He bit the dead, dry skin from his lower lip and squinted in thought. With his big, fat knuckled hands on his hips he turned his attention to the chains hanging in the rafters. He scratched his scruffy chin and considered using them. After another scan of the room he began to develop his plan.

He pulled the chords from his bundle of supplies and began unwinding them. One at a time he carefully and skillfully wired one end to a bulb base on a large sheet of steel. When he finished, he patiently moved on to make another, then another until he made nearly 2 dozen of them.

Once he’d lined them up on the ground, he moved onto the box. He opened it and began pulling out bulb after bulb from the box. Each bulb was a 400 watt high intensity bulb. He attached one bulb per sheet from both ends, then he lined up the sheets side by side. After punching holes into the sides of every sheet he began to wire them together leaving large gaps in between each sheet.

When they were all wired together he stood them up so they were all vertical creating a large circle in the center of the room. He left a large opening between each end sheet of metal making up an entrance into the middle of this metallic concoction.

Once this had been accomplished he then began wiring each individual wire to the next turning bunches of 3 into a single wire unit. So instead of having 24 wires he had 8. After the plugs were connected they were ready for action.

He stood back cross armed and studied the machine. With a nod of approval he bent and picked up a long industrial extension cord and walked over to the rear wall and plugged it into a socket box hanging from the rafters. Then he walked to the opposite wall and did the same, and then the next wall until he’d plugged 4 multi socket extension cords in and brought them all as close to the machine as possible. He again stood back and admired his handy work for a moment.

But time was ticking. He glanced at his watch. He hated feeling rushed. He turned around and looked at the large woman who’d quit screaming the moment he began working in the cold musty room. He looked up at the hooks and chains hanging overhead for a moment. The thought had crossed his mind, but he knew he had to practice patience. The end result would be far more interesting in this new endeavor.

A smile cracked across his dirty, sweat stained face. The creases at the corners of his eyes deepened as the grin grew.  He slowly stepped over to the woman. She was bigger than he was used to, maybe a size 18 or so. So he knew she wouldn’t go as easily as he was used to. He braced himself and began moving faster toward her.

She heard him coming. The blindfold only hid so much. Her heart raced as fear penetrated her every pore. She began screaming through the gag again. She had no idea where she was but the strong odor of rotten meat offended her old factory.

Just as she began to scream he bent down and grabbed her by the waist in a foot ball tackle sort of way, hoisting her up over his shoulder. He grunted and his knees nearly buckled but with an extra umph he managed to stand and bring her over to the center of his new brain child.

The woman kicked and squirmed but it was no use. He was strong and didn’t seem to mind taking the hits. Before she knew what was coming she was dropped on the hard floor making a cracking sound. She bellowed with the new pain forming at her hip.

Ignoring her cries, he lowered two chains from the rafters, just low enough to tie the ropes to. Then without untying her binds he forced the woman to stand up and stretched her arms up over her head. He wrapped the rope tightly around one wrist then he untied the binds and pulled her other fighting arm to the other rope and tied it tightly around her wrist.

She tried her damndest to knee him in the nuts but the searing pain rushing through her hip was crippling. She was almost thankful for the ropes as they took most of her weight off of her feet. But the fear of the next salvo was killing her spirit.  At that thought, the woman sprang to life pulling all her weight up onto the ropes and driving a knee straight to the target.

He went down like a ton of bricks cussing as he rolled on the concrete. “You fucking bitch!” he growled through clenched plaque riddled teeth.  His breath came short as he cupped his shrunken battered cock. “Oh I’m going to enjoy this.” He growled bringing himself up slowly, still cupping his balls and taking the occasional deep breath.

He looked at the woman who was panting with fear and standing on one foot favoring her injury. He stared at her limp leg with venom in his eyes then slowly scanned the room. His eyes stopped on a long piece of a 2x4 sitting clumsily on one of the many steel shelves against the southern wall of the room. He limped over only letting go of his crotch with the one hand needed to grab the wood. He slowly hobbled back to the suspended woman. He stood there a moment looking at her face with an evil smile growing on his own. He wound up, motioned a practice swing then let the real swing fly. ‘WHACK’ The wood thundered against her injured hip making her scream bloody murder into the hall of echoes.

He watched her howl and cry in pain. The noise didn’t bother him at all. He looked up at those hooks again thinking how easy it would be. A sigh escaped his nostrils as he tossed the idea. Changing his mind set, he looked down at the woman’s feet. She was wearing running shoes. Funny he thought. She wasn’t running when he found her. She was sitting in line at a McDonald’s drive through.

He wondered if he should tie her feet to the drain in the floor below her or just leave them untied and give her a fighting chance. He smirked. More like a slightly extended life expectancy. Yep, that was it. He would leave her feet free. It would be more interesting this way.

He took his pocket knife out of his back pocket and began cutting the clothes off the woman. With every cut, he’d rip the strip off making the woman scream in agony over and over. He took pleasure in her cries. His nuts still throbbed.

When she was completely stripped of clothes he backed away and pocketed his knife. Wiping his forehead on his dirty sleeve he sniffed the matted dusty air and caught his breath.

Satisfied with this, he walked over to a large bag he’d brought in earlier in the evening. He opened it up and pulled out a large tub of margarine. He grinned and walked over to the naked, trembling woman. He ripped the cover off the container and dunked his hand into the vat of margarine then smeared it all over the whimpering woman. From head to toe, she was slathered in margarine.

Once he’d emptied the container he kicked it aside and dug into his bag again and pulled out a retractable razor. He pressed the button and released the razor. Taking it between his fingers he freed it from the holder and headed back to the unfortunate woman. Pausing looking into her face again wishing he could just do it right now, he sighed and simply began making small slashes over her skin.

The woman screamed and cried as blood trickled in thin lines down each slit. Her begging nearly gave him an erection. But he was getting tired and he knew that time was running short.

He stepped out of the circle of bulbs and walked around the outside flicking the switch on all four extension cords. One by one, the bulbs blinked on and a buzz filled the air. He watched for a moment and checked each wire to make sure there were no problems. When satisfied with his work he headed to the door on the west wall. As he got closer the noises got louder.

He opened the door exposing the small broom closet sized room to the bright new light glowing from his newest invention.  Snarls broke through the thick air that stunk of wet animals. Inside the room was a large rod iron cage. Inside the cage was about a half dozen wild dogs. He’d found them circling cows in a farm on the far side of town. It was easy catching them with the cage and a little raw meat. But starving them and then trying to move them was tricky.

He took another deep breath and stepped closer to the cage. The dogs spit and snarled showing long starving fangs and snapping at the bars drawing blood from their own mouths. The hunger was starting to get to them. They began snapping and chewing at each other when they weren’t trying to escape the iron cage.

He took another step closer and set the gear timer in motion. He had rigged the cage to gears with a car battery and an old motorcycle motor. He set the idol really low so that the cage door opened very slowly. It would most likely be about an hour and a half before the door of the cage would be open enough for the dogs to start squeezing out.

With a nod of approval he turned on his heel and set up a mini camera in the upper corner of the Northern most wall. The camera had a complete view of the room without showing the doorway out. He’d thought it through several times. It would never show him leaving. It would only show Cyrus arriving. What came next was up to Cyrus.

He picked up all his tools and belongings and exited the room closing the door behind him leaving the woman to fend for herself when the dogs broke out.

As he sat in the car with the journal in his lap he scribbled the words:

In the South end of town where the farmers sound
The bells of their cows through shot gun shells
Now has a hidden gem, a nice quiet den
Deep in the crete where you can smell meat
You will find the witness blind
But eyes will spy even as the sun doesn’t shine
On this kind of plant where dogs don’t just pant
Though the plant is closed it will open its toes
In 2 hours flat you’d better watch your back.
TAG! You’re it.

With a grin he closed the journal and threw it on the passenger seat of his van. He cranked the ignition and set off on his way.

Okay now, let me know what you think! Keep in mind...its a rough draft. Its the idea and details I'd like criticism on if you please! :)

5 comments:

  1. Ooooh! This is really good!! I really want to read on! I especially love the part of the journal! Great job, Kara!!

    Just a note to make it easier to read on here: Space your paragraphs. That way it won't read as one long paragraph.

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  2. What? Where's the rest? I want more! Come on, Kara. Dang, it was getting good!

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  3. Why thank you ladies! LOL!! I know Jamie I just copy and pasted and BAM...it was all smashed together. LOL!!

    Christy its a miracle I posted THIS much! LOL!!

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  4. GAH!!!!This is Awesome!I want more,more,more!I had a slight problem readin',cause I'm old(hee hee)n also like Jamie said,paragraphs need to be separated.See,Kara,this is what I've been waitin' for,honey darlin'!Now,show us more!!

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  5. Really? You like it? That's wonderful cause it only gets better as the story reads on. :)

    Okay, hint taken. I'll fix it right now. :)

    Sorry about the smashed paragraphs....darn copy and paste! LOL!!

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